If the title were what I love about Hindi TV serials, well then it would have just one bullet saying NOTHING. Reality shows are a not a part of this rant, because lets face it, at least they are funny. But I have ZERO tolerance for HINDI serials.
1. The “kind-hearted,village girl, desperately in need of a makeover, with a heart made of gold” protagonist.
While Miley Cyrus is out there shouting “NOBODY’s PERFECT”, this gal right here is busy making donations, fighting molesters, winning awards, cooking dinner. You know why? ’cause guess what HANNAH MONTANA,I’m a frigging angel. Yeah right, come at me mother-in-law, yell at me dear husband, treat me like shit but I am gonna sit here with my 5 Kgs of makeup and say absolutely NOTHING. At least not before the 105th time you mess with me, because now suddenly I am pissed and I won’t let you do that to me this time. NOT the 106th time! Okay? I have feelings.
2. The melodrama.
We have got copyrights for melodramatic characters and situations.
And also we have cartons full of glycerine and butt loads of bullshit.Enjoy!
3. The speed impracticality!
Or should I say the not-existent speed. It’s been 12 months since the girl first met the boy (and had a million spark-like moments), but right now the guy is “I feel like something has changed. Is this love?”
Naah,just seasons changed, the earth completed a revolution, your favourite Aunt is dead, you frigging changed your house, you are about to marry another girl and the girl is about to get married to another guy.
Now is the perfect time to realise you’re in love. Because screw logic!
What has changed is that your viewers realised that they wasted an entire year watching your show, and hopefully that changed your TRPs. Negatively!
4.The rich life
Yeah we celebrate every festival, host extravagant parties, wear jewellery all the time, go to bed fully clothed, wake up looking like Rebecca Black (Compliment? I don’t think so)
5. The sound effects, special effects.
The night sky shown, is a poster. The fire lit, is animated. The music is all we have to catch viewer’s attention. The songs we have played from a movie, is what we are gonna pretend sung in the lead actor’s voice ’cause our stars are just that multi-talented (Nuh-uh).
6.The Time-Period Leaps.
Well you started the show representing an era of 2013, now you take a 2 year leap it’s 2015.
Since the show isn’t working, let us take a 15 year leap, and change the storyline drastically, and then take a 20 year leap and have grandchildren as the leads of the show.
So now you are IN THE FUTURE. You better be flying by now ’cause it IS 2050 and if you are still walking on the ground, well you’re pretty useless, just like your show!
On a positive note,
Out of 250 on-air shows, there are just a few(Rishta.com, Everest, Seven, Khotey Sikkey) which re-enact real life or have a practical storyline. Just like Slumdog Millionaire doesn’t give a complete picture of India, similarly most of our daily soaps don’t do that either!
Wake up Directors, you guys are wasting everybody’s time and money.
I could go on, but that’s all for now!
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